POWERFUL
+ After watching “Being Serena” and see her transition from an athlete to a mom and a wife. It gave me so much hope. Feel like being a beast at whatever I’m currently working on everything from spiritual, physical, and creatively. .
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It’s currently Saturday so I have faith that this mentality will spill over to Monday morning. I already have a schedule in motion. I just have to unlock my beast mode. I have moments of feeling like failure but I know I have full potential of becoming a phenomenal creator. .
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There are two things God told me to do CREATE and SPEAK! I have to stick to these two commands and dive right into it. Technically tomorrow the 9th of sept will make one year of me returning back to God and soooo much has happened since then. .
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I just wanna prove to myself that I’m a determined person and can defeat any fear that maybe potentially holding me back. I know I can create my behind off but I need to believe that I’m phenomenal at it. Absolutely nothing can stop me at this point but myself! I truly need to JUST DO IT! .
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It’s currently Saturday so I have faith that this mentality will spill over to Monday morning. I already have a schedule in motion. I just have to unlock my beast mode. I have moments of feeling like failure but I know I have full potential of becoming a phenomenal creator. .
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There are two things God told me to do CREATE and SPEAK! I have to stick to these two commands and dive right into it. Technically tomorrow the 9th of sept will make one year of me returning back to God and soooo much has happened since then. .
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I just wanna prove to myself that I’m a determined person and can defeat any fear that maybe potentially holding me back. I know I can create my behind off but I need to believe that I’m phenomenal at it. Absolutely nothing can stop me at this point but myself! I truly need to JUST DO IT! .
GRATITUDE
+ Monday was truly one of my worst meltdowns. I felt useless. I felt lost. I felt damaged. So many mixed emotions I decided to cry.
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I cried because I wanted more in life. I wanted to succeed higher. Instead I felt anger and negativity. My outlook on life wasn’t the best.
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I finally pulled myself together. I spent the rest of the day glued to sermons via YouTube. Each sermon taught me and gave me bits of pieces to this puzzle of life.
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By the evening I headed over to a screening. I entered into the room with my spirit feeling disjointed and feeling out of place. The event started, the room filled up with lively, energetic people. I started to feel more at ease with everything. I came across a friend whom I haven’t seen in a while. As I engaged into the convo my spirit started to feel relaxed and comfortable.
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During the event open hearted individuals started to talk about their own situation. Hearing them made me realize I wasn’t alone and that many ppl were experiencing it as well.
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Fast forward to today I spent the last 2 days really practicing my positive thoughts. Speaking great things to myself. Moments I would drift off to negative thoughts, I bring my thoughts back the present moment.
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Before I go to bed I spend at least 10 mins writing what I am grateful for. I truly believe practicing gratitude is one of the tools to improve. Along with speaking positively to yourself. So far it’s been very effective. I will continue to do so. •
With that being said sometimes we expect things to be one way but if it doesn’t workout. We start to bash ourselves. We have to learn that everything has a season and reason. What we feel is temporary. So instead of rushing the process. Enjoy the process and make the best of it. Less worrying and more
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I cried because I wanted more in life. I wanted to succeed higher. Instead I felt anger and negativity. My outlook on life wasn’t the best.
__
I finally pulled myself together. I spent the rest of the day glued to sermons via YouTube. Each sermon taught me and gave me bits of pieces to this puzzle of life.
__
By the evening I headed over to a screening. I entered into the room with my spirit feeling disjointed and feeling out of place. The event started, the room filled up with lively, energetic people. I started to feel more at ease with everything. I came across a friend whom I haven’t seen in a while. As I engaged into the convo my spirit started to feel relaxed and comfortable.
__
During the event open hearted individuals started to talk about their own situation. Hearing them made me realize I wasn’t alone and that many ppl were experiencing it as well.
__
Fast forward to today I spent the last 2 days really practicing my positive thoughts. Speaking great things to myself. Moments I would drift off to negative thoughts, I bring my thoughts back the present moment.
__
Before I go to bed I spend at least 10 mins writing what I am grateful for. I truly believe practicing gratitude is one of the tools to improve. Along with speaking positively to yourself. So far it’s been very effective. I will continue to do so. •
With that being said sometimes we expect things to be one way but if it doesn’t workout. We start to bash ourselves. We have to learn that everything has a season and reason. What we feel is temporary. So instead of rushing the process. Enjoy the process and make the best of it. Less worrying and more
GROWTH AFTER ALL
+ I’m searching and searching. “ Maybe I left it somewhere”..... I searched some more. I wanted to get frustrated, I wanted to get angry. Im searching and searching. I thought maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t human. Why wasn’t I reacting to my normal response. I searched once more. No triggers. •
I’m walking now admiring the growth of the flowers along the street. “ Oh that’s beautiful”. I captured it in the moment. I continue to walk. “Oh there’s more” I proceed through the gates of the park. “Look how that flower is growing so beautifully along the vine”.
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Snap snap I capture more of the beautiful vibrant flowers. The yellows, the pinks, the whites, they all were sprouting through the moist soil.
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I continue to walk than it hit me. “Wow the growth!” I was growing. My internal roots were finally grounded and made a home. Reflecting on my early morning experience. Curious to know why my frustration and anger didn’t build up to their normal response. I suddenly realized peace and joy found they way to over root them. They no longer had a home. They were becoming weak and none existing.
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I came to realize that I was becoming the flowers I was viewing. My roots were planted, now all it took was nurturing to see the external growth through my tough skin. “ I’m finally seeing the growth after all”
I’m walking now admiring the growth of the flowers along the street. “ Oh that’s beautiful”. I captured it in the moment. I continue to walk. “Oh there’s more” I proceed through the gates of the park. “Look how that flower is growing so beautifully along the vine”.
__
Snap snap I capture more of the beautiful vibrant flowers. The yellows, the pinks, the whites, they all were sprouting through the moist soil.
__
I continue to walk than it hit me. “Wow the growth!” I was growing. My internal roots were finally grounded and made a home. Reflecting on my early morning experience. Curious to know why my frustration and anger didn’t build up to their normal response. I suddenly realized peace and joy found they way to over root them. They no longer had a home. They were becoming weak and none existing.
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I came to realize that I was becoming the flowers I was viewing. My roots were planted, now all it took was nurturing to see the external growth through my tough skin. “ I’m finally seeing the growth after all”
I THOUGHT ABOUT REAL LOVE
+ I thought about LOVE today.... Yesss I said the word LOVE... lol .
TBH I use to hate the word love I thought carried absolutely no substance in my world. Until one day I reflected on my life and wondered why it was so meaningless to me.
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I had my first heart break, that damaged the meaning towards love. I had my second, my third, fourth....etc. I think after a while I was heartless. I was convinced love don’t live here anymore 😔. .
So I roamed most of my twenties not dealing or healing the wounds from my bruised love experience. .
It wasn’t until Sept of 2017 that I learned what true love meant! Like that unconditionally love. .
I had spent a large amount of time neglecting God. I had some bad experiences in life that I no longer wanted to be apart of Kingdom. So I took my own route.... OH BOY was that the wrong answer!! Lol My life experience didn’t improve they just stayed stagnated for a reallllly long time.
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I couldn’t break this pattern of stagnation. It absolutely dreadful to experience. Until one day after my yoga class. I heard a familiar calm inner voice speaking.... It was God!! The KING OF LOVE!!
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I poured my heart out to Him, crying and all. I told God I needed help. I needed answers, like reallll answers!!!
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From that moment I started seeing dramatic shifts. Shifts I didnt even see happening!! During this shifting stage it wasn’t the most pleasing experience AT ALLL!!! I cried, I spent many months clearing out any old issues. Mainly issues from past hurt.
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That process took almost 7 months and is still going. BUT I can tell you this I now know what that unconditional love feels like. I know what that deep love feels like my heart is at its purest form. It’s been a VERYYYY long way coming but it was soooo WORTH IT!!
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So when I say I thought about LOVE today. I thought about GOD.
TBH I use to hate the word love I thought carried absolutely no substance in my world. Until one day I reflected on my life and wondered why it was so meaningless to me.
__
I had my first heart break, that damaged the meaning towards love. I had my second, my third, fourth....etc. I think after a while I was heartless. I was convinced love don’t live here anymore 😔. .
So I roamed most of my twenties not dealing or healing the wounds from my bruised love experience. .
It wasn’t until Sept of 2017 that I learned what true love meant! Like that unconditionally love. .
I had spent a large amount of time neglecting God. I had some bad experiences in life that I no longer wanted to be apart of Kingdom. So I took my own route.... OH BOY was that the wrong answer!! Lol My life experience didn’t improve they just stayed stagnated for a reallllly long time.
__
I couldn’t break this pattern of stagnation. It absolutely dreadful to experience. Until one day after my yoga class. I heard a familiar calm inner voice speaking.... It was God!! The KING OF LOVE!!
__
I poured my heart out to Him, crying and all. I told God I needed help. I needed answers, like reallll answers!!!
__
From that moment I started seeing dramatic shifts. Shifts I didnt even see happening!! During this shifting stage it wasn’t the most pleasing experience AT ALLL!!! I cried, I spent many months clearing out any old issues. Mainly issues from past hurt.
__
That process took almost 7 months and is still going. BUT I can tell you this I now know what that unconditional love feels like. I know what that deep love feels like my heart is at its purest form. It’s been a VERYYYY long way coming but it was soooo WORTH IT!!
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So when I say I thought about LOVE today. I thought about GOD.